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Lil Wayne Music Video
21 Jump Street (or 21 ‘Yump’ Street)

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Lil Wayne Music Video

Lil Wayne, young rappers like you are among our most vital sources of hipsterism — not the timid Teen Vogue-baiting eclecticism of Pharrell Williams (cough cough) — actual surrealism.
But come on, your videos are strictly old-timey. It’s depressing!
You have got to get this: Dipset Detox isn’t some crazy left-field art shit, it’s the LOGICAL VISUAL REACTION to the Dipset movement/aesthetic. And so is this video for you, Lil Wayne: like you, it’s so ‘gay’ (er…colorful? baroque? glammy?) and yet so menacing! Just picture…

Dozens of Scandanavian men. Feathered hair, luxurious beards —
Driving speedboats in formation. Lil Wayne leads them in a Go-Fast boat, GOING NUTS.
Cut to a big party on a yacht. No Smiles.
Glassbottom on the yacht,
Sharks try to break through the glass. Thud thud –
And then they frenzy — It’s bloody.
The Scandanavians suit up into scuba gear and dive underwater
With powerful lasers, they ambush the shark-frenzy — bubbles and teeth and darkness and neon.
On the boat, people start betting on the fight, throwing money on the glassbottom.
Of course, Lil Wayne’s the big winner…
He collects his cash off the blood splattered glass floor of the yacht —
as shark-parts wash onto the shore of a fancy resort.

(Most of this came to Whitney in a dream)

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21 Jump Street (or ‘21 Yump Street’)

Set in San Juan. Young cops undercover in high school and in over their heads. All in Spanglish No subtitles!
Starring? Everybody, everybody: Diego Luna as Johnny Depp (is there a difference between obvious and perfect?). Other coppers: Cassie Steele, Jimmi Simpson, Devon Aoki & Bow Wow; Laguna Beach’s Nick W. and the jewish looking kid from Roll Bounce as real students; Calle 13 as comic-relief snitches; a whole bunch of reggaeton/southern rap stars as the drug dealers, whoever’s available, organized hierarchally by body size and charisma. Ploos: Daddy Yankee and Rompe girls as an awesome gang of anti-heroes.
What the Miami Vice movie shoulda been – sexy and classy action for the Mun2/MTV Tr3s generation.