I’m not writing to recommend you see Darjeeling Limited. Do what you want.

I am writing to recommend you drink this energy drink Bacchus-D that Whit and I have started buying a lot since Darjeeling Limited. It looks just like the painkiller they drink in the movie. Also it’s delicious, it keeps you up and it’s only $1.

L

P.S. If you’ve know me and Whit, you’d probably say “of course they like Darjeeling Limited.” That’s why I can’t recommend the film. It’s almost by definition that a Wes Anderson film is a thing we love.

When you build up a trust for somebody that means you’re willing to assume they’ve put a lot of time and thought into making their work as good as it can be. So if you don’t like it at first, maybe that means you haven’t thought about the issue as much, or as deeply, as they have.

Getting to see the work from their point of view is a learning process. Its sometimes hard, and sometimes you realize “no, they just fucked up”, but its also the only way I think I’ve ever had a rewarding experience with art.

In other words, I don’t go to Wes Anderson movies to judge them, I go to change myself. It’s very nice to have a big-time filmmaker I feel that way about.

Been realizin’ a few things lately:
1) My lack of formal film education, or even informal reading on the topic.
2) Terminator 2 is soooo good.
3) It’s pretty much for sure that Transformers and Darjeeling Limited will be the best films of 2007.

In other words, Whit and I might need to start thinking of people like Micheal Bay and James Cameron as our influences like we do Eric Rohmer, Wes Anderson or Stella. And thinking about what that means.

So, using my Ivy League passwords, I searched Film Comment back-issues for “Michael Bay” and came up with an article called “Bay Watch” from 2001. It’s by editor-at-large Kent Jones, and it is terribly snarky. But if you mentally remove the sarcasm, he delineates some good points about what makes Bay so special and so very nowadays:

Here are some of the secrets to Michael Bay’s success.

1) If It Works, Do More of It.
Why end just every fifth scene on a note of triumphant uplift? Why not every scene? Why reserve that special Morning in America burnish, painstakingly cultivated amidst the drudgery of making commercials, for special moments? Why not apply it to the overall visual scheme? And if a villain is going to be strung up by his feet, don’t do anything so mundane as having him dipped into a pool of water. Instead, have your big star douse said villain’s pants with a flammable liquid, set his feet on fire, and then drop him into a pool of really dirty, chemically tinged water.

2) Don’t Waste Your Time Reinventing the Wheel.
Creating new and interesting characters is okay for the French, but why bother when you have the money to spend on stars who have already appeared in other movies playing characters that suit your needs just fine? It only gums up the works. Let Nicolas Cage, Sean Connery, Steve Buscemi, Ben Affleck, Owen Wilson, Ed Harris, Billy Bob Thornton, and the rest of them simply keep on doing what they’ve already done so well in other people’s movies. Less work for you, less work for them. In this case, less really is more.

3) If You Can Imagine It, You Can Do It.
Don’t fret about plausibility - it only gets in the way (after all, Hitchcock counseled against it). At the climax of the “celebrated” chase sequence near the beginning of The Rock, Bay keeps an exploding trolley car in the air for a breathtakingly lengthy interval before it falls to earth and almost crushes Nicolas Cage. Why a trolley car should explode after crashing into a car, or how its conductor could survive, are of no concern to anyone. It doesn’t matter. Any more than it matters why the Armageddon crew has that gatling gun up there in space. It’s there because it gives the viewer that much more. That it actually happens to be there because the market research indicated that vehicles with big guns make for cooler toy tie-ins is immaterial - this is one of those rare moments when the realities of business and the demands of a personal vision are one.

Those sound like three Ball Deep rules to me.

L

Also, ninja does not pull punches on his blog, “Shoot For The Edit”. Check out Bay on his role in the Phil Spector trial.

Thing is though, sometimes its rough to SUBSCRIBE to a magazine. You feel committed - especially when that magazine seems to be written by people who are, or who are at least stalking, your friends.

Me and Whit were having a writing session last week, looking through some Teen Vogue back issues, and we came upon a record review for a band called the 1990s. TV said the 1990s used to be in another band with the people from Franz Ferdinand. We hoped this meant the guys from Yummy Fur were recording music again. Google confirmed this and we got siked.

You see, The Yummy Fur is a very awesome band from the 1990s (Whit notes how great it is that a band that was really good back then would name themselves after that). They made sincere and bitter songs about art films and the Scottish club scene. Here’s a song of theirs: Yummy Fur - Chinese Bookie

Siked off them making new music again + all the Teen Vogue convergence lately, I downloaded the 1990s album and spent the last few days trying to like it. Really trying. But how can you excuse lyrics like

Ladytron, Lady Di, how’d you make your baby cry?
FTQ, FTP, Bartlebys [sp?] and Mozambique -
Me, I’m on Decatur Street!

That is just lame, right? Like there’s no word “Bartlebys” can be that would save that. At least Franz Ferdinand is really good looking. At least Franz Ferdinand redid this

with Jane Birkin and made it way Nirvanaish… Franz Ferdinand w Jane Birkin - Sorry Angel

Sometimes it’s too much effort to convince yourself to like something mediocre.

Like the Country Teasers - who maybe also used to be in a band with the FF guys - them I love. I love their website and their related projects (Dude: Male Nurse Peel Sessions). They’re on the Ball Deep Christmas Card list. We named a movie after a song of theirs. We threw bones at their last New York show, and alienated Excepter in the aftermath. Its cuz they make songs like Country Teasers - Please Ban Music / Gegen Alles

If the Country Teasers put out something I didn’t like, I would spend a lot of time trying to make myself like it (see upcoming Wes Anderson post). I’ve built that faith in them. But, with the 1990s - I dunno. It didn’t happen. Here’s hoping they get better.

L

P.S. Ok, so I need advice. Right now I subscribe to Teen Vogue for fashion/convergence; Ozone for music; Cabinet for art; Interview for hollywood cheat codes; and Make for some kind of nerd-cred (I don’t think I like making things). I’m looking to branch out to more magazines - any suggestions??S?S?

Once again, our fantasy and day-to-day worlds collided in the pages of Teen Vogue. This time, in a “Young Hollywood” spread (which we were reading for its photos of the younger generation’s most promising actor wearing amazing chain-mail/doily combos), THIS HAPPENED…


Crazy right? I mean here we thought Blondes in the Jungle was going be the thing to link John from Cincinnati with Vampire Weekend (at least aesthetically/culturally). But Teen Vogue beat us to it…Bravo. (See Chiasm for more extensive Vampire Weekend fame-tracking)

L + W

The new website’s up! Hopefully you find it much improved…

Thing is, we haven’t been able to test it on the infinite possible alternative browsers and operating systems. So there’s probably some design flaws. If anything looks funny to you, or you can suggest any improvements, Please let us know! Leave a comment or email us.

Thanks!
L + W