Archive for the 'Blondes in the Jungle' Category
Do I Look Like A Jew?
Flying back from Honduras last night (oh yeah, that happened) I watched this show Numb3rs where JEWS…FIGHT…CRIME.
I didn’t have headphones and I didn’t need them. I just watched in total delight. As Whitney put it, “Look at all those noses!”
(And what noses. The show’s got the kid from Addams Family Values, Judd Hirsch, that hilarious guy from Ghostbusters 2, PLUS Rob Morrow. Morrow played Dick Goodwin in Quiz Show and Goodwin is the basis for Portnoy in Portnoy’s Complaint, though he’s also sorta Philip Roth - meaning I might just love one Jewish man - an overrighteous oversexed nerd.)
And the best part: they fight crime using Math. My favorite moment, and I bet this happens every episode, is the scene where the gentile criminals are explained the math that’s ensnared them! Oh man. I just couldn’t be happier.
But if I love Jews so much on TV (and in the Kennedy era)…why don’t I like them that much in real life? My phone’s got 140 contacts and of them, only 27 are Jews, mostly from Big A Little a.
Maybe that’s impressive if you live somewhere else, but for a Jewish Columbia grad living in Brooklyn 27 is pretty shabby. I mean that includes my family! And why do I find Jewish-hipness: HEEB Magazine, J-Date, later Seth Cohen, so utterly, disproportionately repulsive?
I guess I am only now realizing a famous and obvious thing. So-called Jewish “self-loathing” and “pride” aren’t opposites - they’re best friends. (Dag. I saw that movie THE BELIEVER twice and it still didn’t sink in.)
Anywayz, on the plane, I made Whitney promise that we’d find ourselves a Jewish male actor soon. I’m fine fetishizing blondes and blonde-ness for another year or two, but then we’re spending some time on olive-skinned thick haired people with nasal voices and the world on their back. And we are objectifying the fuck out of them.
They deserve it.
L
P.S. And it’s not just me. Did you know that my sister pronounces her great TV-crush David Duchovny’s name with a guttural “ch”? What is that but a protest against the teasingly never-stated Jewishness of our sexiest TV Jew? It’s not enough that we _know_ Fox Mulder is Jewish - that you can literally see it on his face. We want you to hear it too.
P.P.S. I especially love it when non-Jews go out of their way to have awesome Jewish characters. Wes Anderson’s doing G-d’s work.
So X: Trevor vs. Morrissey
Last night Whitney re-edited our utilitarian BLONDES IN THE JUNGLE camera-tests into a transcendent music video. Of it she wrote, “if i was winona ryder in reality bites this is a video i probably would have made.”
Riiight?
(Read So X, II for more on our generation vs. Generation X.)
‘Blondes in the Jungle’ Casting Call!
So guys…
Due to circumstances outside of her control, Kristen B will not be playing AMBER in BLONDES IN THE JUNGLE. We are very sad to lose her. We wrote the part for Kristen and she has been one of the movie’s most enthusiastic supporters.
For those of you curious about the production, we will still be filming a portion (about 40%) of the movie this August in Honduras. But we’re holding off the second half until we can find a perfect actress to take Kristen’s place.
So, announcing the BLONDES IN THE JUNGLE casting call!
AMBER:
Amber is nineteen years old, beautiful and preppy. She’s medium height and thin with long, blonde hair. Originally from Connecticut, Amber’s now in her freshman year at Hunter College.
If you’re interested, please email us at lev_and_whitney@balldeep.tv. Acting experience is not necessary. In some ways, it’s discouraged.
Get in touch! We’ll be holding rolling rounds of auditions until we find our new AMBER. But as soon as we find one, we’ll stop.
Sincerely,
L + W
Take a peek at Blondes in the Jungle!
O man, dudes - it has been so hard, it has taken so much resilience for us to have been grinding on BLONDES IN THE JUNGLE these last few months and not be able to share it you. You’ve probably noticed a difference - like Ball Deep was holding something back…
But things had to be aligned, hands had to be shaked. (There’s actually still secret shit we can’t yet share!) Still, the New BLONDES IN THE JUNGLE website should keep you plenty busy with:
THE TEAZER TRAILER
THE STORE
MIXTAPE # 1: INSPIRATIONAL SOUNDS
MIXTAPE # 2: THE EXECUTIVE LOOK
HYPERBOLIC CLAIMS!!
Plus MORE. Everybody’s in on this. Rehearsals start in July and we shoot in August.
So amped.
L + W
Donna Juana rerun - Towards a Blondes in the Jungle Mixtape
Sorry dudes — I still don’t have the music in me.
This week, please accept a rerun of my Blondes in the Jungle pre-mixtape show. (MPFreeee)
PLAYLIST: Kid Creole and the Coconuts - In the Jungle James White and the Blacks - (Tropical) Heatwave Harry Nilsson and John Lennon - Mucho Mungo / Mt Elga Lionel Richie - All Night Long (All Night) Electra - Jibaro Heaven 17 - Play To Win (Extended Version) Prince - Partyman (remix) Heaven 17 - Sign O’ The Times Heaven 17 - We’re Going To Live For A Very Long Time Kid Creole and the Coconuts - I’m Corrupt The Specials - Too Much Too Young Rod Stewart - Some Guys Have All The Luck / Addicted to Love (live)
LOVE.
DJ Hot Donna
Bon Voyage
Tomorrow morning Whitney flies to La Ceiba, Honduras to scout locations and shoot preliminary footage for Blondes in the Jungle.
Good luck Whit. There are fucking leopards in the fucking trees.
L
M-M-M-Money is all we think of
With the Blondes In the Jungle shoot only half a year away (you heard the buzz?), we are fundraising like Ball Business. Now is Phase 1: Institutional Support. Next week we send in our application to the Jerome Foundation “New York City Media Arts Program”.
It’s our favorite foundation — first, the dude who runs it, Robert Byrd, is a real cool customer (that’s not sucking up. that’s the truth). Second, the grant could practically cover our entire budget. And third they’re waiting for a project like this one. So we’re psyched. I mean, it feels good just to apply for something prestigious.
And with that in mind, here’s the cover letter to our proposal — in a few months when we hear back, you guys will know whether or not it’s a good Sample Proposal. Till then, maybe you’d enjoy the inside peek anyways. The more interesting parts are highlighted
Updated 02/04/07 with the final version…
“I am nineteen years old, blonde, and looking for adventure. Let me be your special.”
- 1926 letter to J. Eric S. Thompson, Archaeologist of the ancient Maya
Blondes in the Jungle
A short fiction film with an accompanying original soundtrack
By Lev Kalman and Whitney Horn
Technical
1. Sending Whitney to Casa Verde on a location scouting/preliminary planning trip this February.
At this time she will also shoot test footage and some B-roll.
2. Recruiting experienced and multi-talented producer Alex Orban.
3. Increasing our filming ratio to 3:1.
4. Extending the length of our shoot to give a healthy allowance for weather and other contingencies.
And finally through ongoing consultations with Geralyn Abinader, who has over 16 years of experience producing and directing shoots in remote locations including the rain forests of Vietnam and Brazil. All these safety measures only slightly increase our costs.
Artistic
Sincerely,
Lev Kalman
Whitney Horn
“I’m telling you, baby….The world is a jungle. Wherever you go it’s still the same.” - Bret Easton Ellis, Novelist
Donna Juana 12 - Towards a Blondes in the Jungle Mixtape
As you probably know if you have talked to me or Whitney in the last few months, Blondes in the Jungle will be The Film of 2007 — not just for us, but for you and thousands of other people as well.
With that in mind, this week’s Donna Juana is a first draft/brainstorm for the upcoming Blondes in the Jungle mixtape. That mixtape will in turn inspire the film’s original soundtrack, which will play from our heros’ boombox as they trek through the 1987 Honduran rain forest.
Ok — hope this helps you get as psyched as we are: (MPFreeee)
PLAYLIST: Kid Creole and the Coconuts - In the Jungle James White and the Blacks - (Tropical) Heatwave Harry Nilsson and John Lennon - Mucho Mungo / Mt Elga Lionel Richie - All Night Long (All Night) Electra - Jibaro Heaven 17 - Play To Win (Extended Version) Prince - Partyman (remix) Heaven 17 - Sign O’ The Times Heaven 17 - We’re Going To Live For A Very Long Time Kid Creole and the Coconuts - I’m Corrupt The Specials - Too Much Too Young Rod Stewart - Some Guys Have All The Luck / Addicted to Love (live)
SKULLLLLLLLLSS!SKUUUUUULLLLLLLLLSS!SSKKKKULLLLLLSS!
From Well of Sacrifice by Donald Ediger
Our Plans for the Future
There’s been so much movement on so many projects, its been hard to decide when to do this post — like one music video we were late-stage planning seems to have temporarily dissolved, but another one is too fresh to mention yet! Anyways, here’s some upcoming movies as they stand now…
Halloween Face 3
“A day with Splash Manning, Pool King of planet Pappyland.”
Airs 12/20/06. (Previous episodes.)
Blondes in the Jungle
A comic fantasy about shopping, exploration and touching the other.
This big-budget 37 minute piece is set to shoot in Honduras before the 2007 rainy season. The confirmed cast includes Ball Deep alums Trevor Hoff (as a drug smuggler), John Martin (as the Mayan jaguar god) and Andre Frechette (as Bret Easton Ellis). Bigtime bigshot Alex Orban has just signed on as co-producer.
Xpect to hear a lot in these coming months about preppies, heiroglyphics and art-movie fundraising.
We’ll start you off with some quotes:
“I am nineteen years old, blonde, slim and looking for adventure
…let me be your special.”
1928 letter to J. Eric S. Thompson, Archaeologist of the Ancient Maya“‘My son, go and get me your loincloth that I may perceive its odour here with the widespread odour of my loincloth and the odour of my mantle and the odour of my censer. The supreme odour of the at the centre of the sky, at the centre of the clouds. And that which closes my mouth together, it is in a white cup if you are a halch uinic. ‘Father I will bring it,’ he said. And this is the odour of the loincloth which he asks for. This is the supreme odour at the centre of the sky. It is copal gum set on fire so that it burns. This is what closes his mouth together. It is ground cacao.”
Bodil Liljefors Persson, Historian, citing the Chilam Balam de Tuzik“”I’m telling you, baby….The world is a jungle. Wherever you go it’s still the same.”
Bret Easton Ellis, Novelist
Think Apocalypso. Think big!
Ménage à Trois
Taking place over a year, this movie (also 37 minutes) explores the social, physical and erotic rule-sets of three racquet sports. Production is not yet scheduled.
The Vanity Project
A series of self-financed movies about ourselves.
The first installment, Dear Santa, was shot last week! The film will be back from the lab and ready to post late next week…